Surabaya (02.12)

I have an appointment this morning at 08.00 in the hotel not so far from the airport, yet I’m still awake for some reasons.

To be honest, I’m bored; I’m bored with politics, I’m bored with family drama, I’m tired being like in a cage while I’m supposed to be out there somewhere exploring the uncharted area.

I’m bored of sitting in front of my computer, I’m tired of having an unproductive conversation about feeling, I’m bored dealing with a person who is always complaining, and I’m bored that I’m too sensitive in almost about everything.

Deep down I’d dream about flying, far away to some place where I could find a serenity, calmness. Where the grass is green, and the sky is crystal blue. To a place where I can distantly hear the song of river flows. To a place where there is no one but me.

I’d like to be able to speak with mother nature, to understand the language of trees, to hear what they say when they’re giving away oxygen for free while absorbing carbons.

I’d like to understand the language of ants, so I can learn what’s the hard work and teamwork is.

I’d like to learn true pearls of wisdom from sea turtle who always routinely traveled to different places across the ocean.

And I’d like to understand what the meaning of love really is. To feel the love when I’m still in the womb. To feel the love of my mother when I’m still crawling around her. To feel the romantic love like I did years ago.

And I’m longing to be loved by a person who really loves me unconditionally, to remove the numbness in my heart right now.