Some people always believing that they’re unable to be content because of their partner actions hurting them so much. Some even act further to retaliate and tried to destroy, terror, and intimidate the persons whom they believed as the cause of their contentment. But is it true that our happiness is subject to how other people act toward us?
In my opinion, happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind and heart. If your mind and heart are at peace, you are happy. If your mind and heart are at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be content. If you have everything the world can give – pleasure, possessions, power – but lack peace of mind and heart, you can never be happy.
The reason behind why you couldn’t be happy and thus feels disappointment is merely due to your own expectation. You couldn’t blame others for your own happiness. As you set your expectation towards other people, it means that you hang your hope and dreams on someone else. From my perspective, it’s merely an example of an irrasional act. Furthermore, everybody always has their strengths and weaknesses, positives and negatives. By expecting that other people will perform according to your own criteria, it means that you’re not mature enough and less responsible with your own mind.
In one occasion I have a friend who always complaining about her husband behavior. She said that she’s unhappy because her husband is unable to comfort her, her husband is A, is B, is C to Z. All the negative sides of her husband from her perspective alone. She keeps repeating complaining her husband, yelling, saying harsh words, asking for a divorce in any situations that she feels not suitable to her preferences.
On the contrary, the husband who fortunately is also my friend told the opposite story. He said that he’s happy with his life, he’s grateful to have a loving and caring wife. He said that it’s true that sometimes his wife yelling at him, do something significant which affecting family financial matter without letting him know, asking for a divorce on many occasions but surprisingly, he doesn’t look stress at all.
So how we can achieve our own happiness then? The first rule to be applied for realizing our contentment is to understand that we are entirely responsible for own mind and heart. How we manage both of mind and heart purely depends on how we perceived and set our expectation toward others. Don’t let others negativities affecting your own actions. And probably, the other reason why we’re unhappy is that we orient ourselves only for the present life alone.
“Whoever makes the afterlife as his orientation, then Allah will make wealth in his heart, and He will gather all his strength while this world will come after him with submission, and whoever makes the world his orientation, Allah will make poverty before him and scatter his strength, and the world did not come to him except what was set for him”